My Wedding: How, Why, Photos!

Characters involved:

• Sejal: Bachelors in EC. Currently employed with Wipro. Born & brought up in Ahmedabad. Details on her blog, and Facebook profile.

• Pulkit (meant for the first-timers): MS by Research, CS. Currently with HP Labs. A native of A’bad. More on his Facebook profile and here.

The marriage theme we followed:

Divert the marriage money to environmental/social causes. In plain words, keep the wedding simple and support ecological conservation/social change with the money saved.

Wedding venue: Arya Samaj (Mandir), Ahmedabad. None of us expected such a spacious place for 2200 bucks [pundit/ritual material included]! Our first choice, though, was the Marriage Registrar’s office.

Spectators: Immediate relatives (around 20 from either side)

Events: Just the marriage ceremony with rituals, followed by lunch in a nearby restaurant [No reception, music night, etc.]

Exchange: After a number of requests/arguments, we managed to ensure minimal give-and-take of gold and gifts, but couldn’t avoid the exchange totally.

Why simple marriage?: Nah, there was no ulterior motive of saving up money for a grand honeymoon or something :).

• Expensive marriages have almost become a must, due to the fear of what ‘people’ will think otherwise. We wanted to emphatically disobey this unwritten societal norm that pushes plenty of families onto hefty loans or the abandonment of a daughter’s education.
• Because the expense is predominantly shouldered by the girl parents, costly marriages (along with dowry) prompt parents to prefer a son over a daughter (whose birth is tantamount to decades of cost cutting).
• Avoid asthma-aggravating fire crackers [Over a lakh small kids labour in the hazardous, harmful surrounds of cracker units], food wastage [Average marriage-wasted food can feed 10 families for a week], and emissions linked to decorative lighting & travels (esp. flights) by the invitees.
• A guest list boasting 500+ invitees does NOT foster relationships. We’d rather invite friends/relatives home in separate clusters, for a meaningful interaction.

Getting the parents on board:

We got them to view this as an extraordinary opportunity of doing a good deed. Still, there remained resistance, as anticipated. But, with time, seeing that our resolve was unshakable, they increasingly softened their stance, so much so that they now brandish the marriage theme to their new acquaintances!. The buzzword is strong-minded persistence: instead of falling prey to momentary emotions, stay committed to your noble plans. Finally, don’t raise hell at the last minute, break the news early!

More photos: